Being a mom is the GREATEST job in the world...it's also the hardest! I know i know People say that all the time, and I would always agree but I could never really imagine. Now don't get me wrong....I am the luckiest girl in the WHOLE world, I mean, I get to be EMmersons mom! And it's AMAZING! The last 6 months I have dedicated 100% of everything I have to this brilliant little being...but my creative juices are flowing and my photography's lacking.
But Instead of working on my art during nap time I sit and stalk other photographers ha.
While all fun and games...and one might think i could learn from others (and I do...I TOTALLY do)But, more often then not, come away with a big judgement cloud looming over my life...my photography....growl!
Now I know, it's no-ones fault but my own...but I just can't help compare myself to other amazing photographers out there. I SO WISH I could walk away with only the inspiration to push myself to get better...but more often than not I walk away feeling envy..this photographer has a better camera, she has more lenses, this one books way more than I do, she has more fans a proper web site...CONFIDENCE to put herself out there ect.ect.ect. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! I know, I've never really immersed myself fully into developing a business (what can I say, my capricornian ways led me through university to get a REAL job) but I am so passionate about photography and somehow developing into the photographer I want to be.
I was reading photographer jasmine stars article about the mistakes she's made and really thought she had written about me!
Here's what she said...
"I let others dictate how I felt about my work.
Needless to say, this happens a lot in the industry. Sometimes business owners will talk so certainly about WHAT they have, WHERE they're going, WHO they're with, HOW many weddings they booked...and so forth. And though it might be unintentional, they made me feel less worthy to pursue my dream of becoming a photographer, and my work. They had that camera, so clearly they take better photos than me. They're off to that industry mixer with people who air kiss, so clearly they're cooler than I am and will get jobs as a byproduct of it. They just booked their 764th wedding for the year...and updated their Facebook status to let the world know.
I walked around in a constant state of I Suckiness, and it wasn't until I tuned out the noise that I was able to define who I was...just plain old Jasmine Star. Once this happened, I was able to embrace my current situation: While I may not have the best camera, or party with the cool kids, or book weddings like a boss...I'm moving forward. And moving is always better than sitting still."
Feeling less worthy...that about sums it up!
WELL FOLKS ITS TIME TO STOP!
No more feeling like I suck! I don't suck...one could always improve...but I don't suck!
I may not have top of the line equipment (maybe one day I will)
I may not have the money for a web site (just yet)
I may not have tons of contacts and copious amounts of photography friends (I'll keep reaching out)
I may not have all the time in the world (I'm a mom to the best child and a wife to the greatest husband)
AND that's okay....I have PASSION!
I know that with each shoot I'll get better I'll learn I'll be thankful.
I am so grateful for everyone who has been in front of my lens and trusted in my vision. I am greatful for positive feedback and encouragement (it's what keeps me going) I am thankful For the ones who read this blog...though its not an "official" web site. If you back me, if your behind me, if you encourage me THANK YOu it means the world.
TIME TO KICK IT UP A NOTCH!